Inertia & Anxeity

Inertia & Anxeity

The date was Saturday, March 9th the day the greatest rapper died. The time was 1:00 pm GMT, I sat quietly on my phone detached from the real-world surfing multiple social media accounts when I came across a shoe that was dropping today. The “Yeezy Inertia.” Instantly I felt my heart start to pound in my chest as I remembered what I said over a year ago “I was out of the game.” Not really out if the game but out of the “hype-game” out of the Saturday morning craze out of the rat race. My love for sneakers will always be there but the anxiety that I deal with on Saturday morning’s leaves my heart hurting all day. Spending 5-7 hours online having 7-10 web browsers open constantly refreshing isn’t a healthy way to live.
To compound my issues I’m a US citizen living abroad, but I haven’t switched my accounts to the European sites, so I still like to adhere to all the US release times. “You see the way my bank account is set up,” the dollar to pound conversion ratio is not in my favor. Shoes are already expensive enough, and I don’t want to pay an extra $60 -$80 just because I can get them on the EU website. “I ain’t about that life.” 
Anyway, once I see a shoe that piques my interest my mind does a time-lapse where I think of over a thousand different “what-if’s” in less than one second and not one of those “what if’s” was… “Didn’t you say you out the game”? So I decided to do some research, and the research led me to, where else…you guessed it…Twitter. I went and checked the feed to see what the haps were on the “Inertia.” In less than a min I got total production run numbers by Adidas, early release links, unboxing reviews and yes, let’s not forget the proverbial hate from Matt Powell. 
Those first few minutes soon turned to hours then I realized it was release time and I was trapped again. They got me “hook, line, and sinker” as I sat on the Adidas website for the page to refresh and the site to go live I found myself with that same pit in my stomach, the one I hated so much. That empty feeling of not knowing whether or not I was going to be able to obtain something I wanted. 
At one point in time in my 35 years of on this earth as a teen believe it or not it was a lot easier to cop kicks, and this whole release thing was a lot different… A lot different. This isn’t one of them old wise-tails of the old head saying they use to walk uphill to school both ways. But in all seriousness since the dawn of the internet-ish’ has changed. Something for the better but a lot for the worse. More specifically my anxiety. 
As 2:51 pm GMT approached I press the refresh button on my iPhone and I’m was immediately added to the “queue” that’s a European term I hate but there I was stuck in the line where I felt I was sure to get swallowed up by bots or have a “sorry we’re all sold out.” I don’t know about you, but I feel the 11.5 US is the most common size in the world. Every sneaker release I’ve ever waited for the 11.5 US was the first size to be eaten up by all the big-foot bastards in front of me. As the wheel kept spinning my mood started to change it went from little hope to no hope to tension and anger. Then it dawned on me. I don’t need this shit, and I don’t need these shoes.  It was then I remembered I thought I canceled Kanye? Well, I didn’t cancel Kanye “WE” canceled Kanye, my wife did. How the hell was I going to explain another new pair of shoes that I don’t need to have, let alone a “Yeezy.” 
It was at that moment the sneaker gods sent me a message as the Adidas site was having technical issues and the launched was postponed for an hour, or that was what the page refresh stated anyway. So I logged off and went back to my life. I made it about 45 minutes when I found myself back on the Adidas website with the site live and queue working again. I felt like, “every time I tried to leave something kept pulling me back.” Tension and anxiety were mounting, as I waited in the queue I fell asleep a few times until my wife woke me up and told me it was time for lunch as I sat in front of my computer eating tacos I saw size after size get gobbled up until there were only 10, 11, 11.5 and 12 left. Fait had seen to give me a shot as I was finally granted access into the site to purchase the kicks. 
I found my size, clicked that add to cart button and input my card details. I was about to click the purchase button when reality set in. As dope as I thought these were, I didn’t need the shoe. I am what few would call a “collector” and what most would call a “hoarder.” I have at least ten pairs of brand new shoes now that I’ve never worn (not stunt or cap, I have issues with wearing my kicks) and this would be just another one added to the list. So after what would seem like 3-4 minutes of back in forth in my head, I decided against the purchase. I consciously pressed the cancel button and closed both browsers and went on with my day. 
Win some, lose some, but live to cop another day.

Back to Top